Currently Listening OK Computer By Radiohead see related

wow you guys...

I miss you.

Every single one of you. Some of us have had hard times, some harder than others. Some people I was extremely close to just walk past me without a glance. Some people walk away when I come to their general area, some people left for a different school, some people moved, some people forgot I exist. I have lost touch with most everyone and I am sorry for that. I guess since no one reads this I can be perfectly honest. I miss him. Not because I have feelings for him, but because he was an amazing friend to say the least. We shared some times that I will not soon forget and I hope sometime we can put everything that happened behind us. If not, I just want it to be known that I am here for you whenever you need me. I miss her, my sister. She was someone that I could confide in with all of my problems whether they were huge or small and she would help. I wish that at some point we find some sort of truse...a balance. I know the way I did things was wrong. She was right, it was shitty of me to do what I did. But at that time I did what I thought was right, and that was the only thing that came to mind. I'm sorry. He moved, and was having a hard time dealing with it. He calls me and asks for help, and I wish I can help him more than I do sometimes. It is hard sometimes, he is close to me, so whenever he talks about how hurt he is about her, I feel so bad because he is like a brother to me. I hope he can find someone that treats him the right way, and makes him happy. I'll be waiting for that phone call. They used to be my best friends, and now all they do is say hi. One of them is in a class of mine, and it's cool because we talk a lot and everything is great, but then she seems to not care at all. The fake smiles get to you after a while, especially by someone that had been your best friend for just about a year. He moved. I miss him a lot, but it seems like we are closer now that he left than when he was here. He listens to me as I listen to him, and I think it helps both of us, it's funny how we always have a problem at the same time... he's a good guy. He goes to Athlton and I miss him very much. whenever I needed someone to just tell me it would all be okay, he would always be there. Whether I did somethig horribly wrong, or I was at the recieving end of whatever hell was going lose, he was always by my side to hug me and tell me everything is alright. I really miss him dearly. She was my best friend, and she goes to Athlton. We never talk anymore, we are both really busy. It had always been like this, but I was never the one with something going on. I would give a hard time about loving her horse more than her friends. But now I'm busy too with sports, and I can understand where she was coming from. But now we are both busy all the time...and never have time for each other. Im sorry. I'm sorry everyone.

Currently Listening Discovery By Daft Punk One More Time see related

this may be a little late...but, I'm not too sure that I knew what to say before... school is over. The step into high school and college are the biggest, and here we are. This is the start to finding out who you really are. I really want to thank the people that helped me to get where I am today. I have changed A LOT from 6th grade until now. Some reasons being personal, most of you have no idea, some being the amazing people I befriended:

Emmerrr: wow, where to start? I didn't really know you in 6th grade, just as the girl that hung out with raiissa and who rode horses. 7th grade I hung out with another crowd, but when we sat next to each other in Mrs. Katzen's class, let's just say if it was a guy, he would be hella orgasmic. 8th grade you were my honeycakes :]. SOO many good times. oh lorday. Well I do have to say that even though there was that 1 day we didnt talk, I find it funny that even then we talked as best friends again the next day. Being with you at your first concert, your first mosh pit...was awesome. I still have the condoms from warped tour, and I do have to say that WUTANG will come back. Going to different high schools is gonna suck, who is gonna say the exact same thing the same time I do, or finish all my sentences for me? Who's gonna pick the sand out of your hair? Honestly I have thought of you as family, and I will always be here for you, no matter what. I love you. Don't you ever forget that.

Lise: It sucks that I didnt really meet you until late this year, I regret that more than I can say. You helped me in a time of unbelieveable need, and you didnt even know me that well, and yet you were there to catch me. I really hope this isn't the end of our relationship, better not be! I truely hope that we can keep coming to each other with problems, whether it's forgetting to buy midol, or a brutal heartbreak, I'll always be a shoulder to cry on. Even on my dying day. I love you sweetie.

Aly: RAWWWRRRR you're mom is wearing your pants again, what's up with that, huh? Alright, after all the lesbian beer drinking, and the watcing of the fondeling, you are raddass. We have had some dissagreements to say the least in our past, but we always seem to recover, then go to mcdonald's and hear about some new spin on the walking stck...? weird. I really hope that we don't lose touch next year, I mean who is gonna be my raddish head then huh? and who is gonna find my brownie in the mcdonalds sundaes? I mean we both know that I am uncapable. :] ILYkangaroo

Carlos: Middle school, wow. You were one of my first friends, and I thank you for that. I also want to remind you that poprocks are not the best way to go by any stretch...ouch. I also really want to thank you for being there. I'm hoping that we'll have even wilder "adventures" like ocean city x10. Until next year you sexy skateboarder. :]

Thomas: I'm having trouble writing one for you. In 6th grade we we ok friends, the occasional "Hi" did just fine. 7th grade I knew you better, still not to the fullest, although you were always one of the people that I wanted to know the most, you seemed to keep to yourself a lot. A few days before 8th grade started was when I really got to know how much of an amazing person you are. whew, that was an amazing  approx. 6 months. You helped me through so much, making me smile when I thought it impossible, and giving me hope when there seemed to be none. I want to thank you as much as humanly possible, but even then I don't think you'll understand how much I really am. It seemed at the time that you were the only one capable of  getting me through, and you did. I'm just sorry that the ending was rough. I really hope that we become friends again, we promised we would, but I hope you know that I'm always willing to be there for you no matter what. Oh, btw...thank you for helping me see that macs are not by any way the best machines out there. I needed that. :]

Joey: Here's to another crazy year. I think I got to know you this year more than I have in the 6 years I have known you. I'm thankful for that, you are amazing to talk to, you always give me advice from the other perspective...the one that I tend to fail to see. I do have to say that I am sorry for all the times you left christian's so we could be alone, you're a sweetheart. I'm seeing now this Joey that doesn't come out much, but when he does it's nothing short of wonderful. I'm hoping that I'll get to know you even better yet.

Abhi: From fireworks to talking about how wide a womans vagina can open it's always great. I miss you like hell man. you and you're non-virgin self. :] You mentioned forgetting all of us once you get to high school...if you do, I'll have to sing "Emily" all by myself even without a guitar, I mean wtf is that man? I hope the next time we decide to stick a feather up your nose we have a video camera, that was priceless.

Jin: I wish everone could see first hand how amazing you are. The way that you put your emotions at the bottom of the list, brushing yourself off so that you can make someone else feel better, I've never met anyone like that in my life. I love you for it. I really hope that one day you will find a girl that will treat you the right way and appreciate more than words can express all that you do for other people. I don't want to lose you, but I'm afraid that's what is going to come out of going to different schools. I hope we can prove me wrong.

Suurah && Ginad: Oh the time's we've shared, almost too many to explain, between kissing lessons, and sleeping in "loud" bathrooms, wedding crashers, and the Boogey Man, you guys are great. I do believe that the first time I went into aeropostle was when you two escorted me...? haha I love you guys. oh yeah, like ohh mahh gaaahh, like, animal crackkerzz are like toootally the like bestt. :]

If I missed anyone, I am deeply sorry. But this is for all who cared to take time out of their day to read what I have tosay: I thank you all for being there. I love you guys. Stay in touch as best as you can. If you dont have my phone number, get it from me on AIM.

I wonder if anyone still readt these. I'm sorry I don't have a carzy dream consisting of following vin deasel, I dont have a story about Dorney Park to share...but I am going to l'hopital. Due to me consistant wheezing, coughing, coughing up blood at the concert, and shortness of breath I have to go to the doctor's office to get an inhaler. Not a big deal. I think I need a few shots as well. seeings how all of the above are effects of allergies gone absurdly wrong. I'm not too excited. I don't perticularly like the doctors. But I have to go back in 2 weeks from now to get my eyes checked because the dumbass tests at school said that I needed stronger glasses because I am now near sided + a little far sided still. I'm not too excited, but what the hell. So a few days ago I found out that I knew someone who had backstage passes to FOB with 3 extra. because she didnt meet up with us, she felt bad so... For Warped Tour this year Me, Emma, and Rachel are going backsage after it and meeting all the bands we can. I'm [really] excited about that. It should be grrreat.  + I'm getting my hair done for graduation. I'm cutting it short and getting highlights. I am going grad. dress shopping with my mom next weekend I think. I'm not going to main street festival cause Mathew isn't playing and that was my whole reason for going, so instead it's hair + nails + grad. dress + shoes. Needless to say, I'm excited. Well, that's about it for now.

Guess what Emms && Rachel: I found 3 more bruises...all from that guy that threw me... Whatevs, it was a fuckin awesome time. and yes, FOB had fire.

...$50... I got ripped. That pretty much sucked.

Ocean City was awesome, I met a boy. He was too perfect to be "real"....he was gay. He is a clothes designer, pretty damn good at it too. ++ his name was Nick. He had a cute ass. :] /// The ocean water was like [oh.my.gah] cold. Carlos and I went to the pool. I got mistaken for being Carlos' girlfriend + Liking Carlos. I definatly don't. This girl Mehgan thought I was competition so I purposely took my new friend Blair, walked past her talking about the guy that I do like. That was a bad idea x2334695, I started thinking about him a lot. Nick and I talked about it while we danced. Then after the dance we all went up at like 11.25 then everyone on my floor (the 14th!!) had an after party dance at the end of the hallway. someone brought a radio, we were there til some advisor from another school started screaming "You all have exactly ONE minute to get in your rooms" heh, we all ran. That guy was crazy. Mercedes me and diamond shared a room together. I went in, they were telling me about how black people are getting put down in the everyday life. For example BET is the only "black people channel" and that white people have every other channel and its not fair. that was a funny conversation. then we watched college hill ( The Real World for bla--ahem. BET) then we called carlos' room and other people's room. seriously made probably around 60 calls :]]]. then Diamond was talking about how this guy was "dissin" her and said she couldn't rap and so then I was like you can rap?! so then she made up a rap about 50cent in 3 minutes that was actually pretty good. then she and mercedes rap battled. We went to bed late and woke up late too. damn wake up calls don't work. we went to breakfast, then to the general assembly. I was sad. Kevin didn't win :[ he cried. poor kid. He is so cute, it made me sad to watch him wipe away tears on stage as he was saying his retiring speech. I VOTED FOR HIM! WHO DIDN'T?!!...gah. anyways then we got on the bus ride home on friday at around 1. that was fun. Im at my dads now. and we are going to North Carolina tomorrow for 2 nights and then williamsburg, then busch gardens. I [really] wanna hang out with everyone on the break. I go home on thursday in the morning, so tell me the plans!

Currently Listening So Jealous By Tegan and Sara, Tegan & Sara Walking with a ghost see related

Here's the deal. I have a new perspective on life:

 I am a generally loud, happy person
 well you know what?
i havent been letting that show
 no more drama. no more tears.
 im going to learn to forgive easlilier
and to let things go
DoDrinkPoisonx3: aw ily
DoDrinkPoisonx3: i like that idea
 and!!
the boys thing
 i have had a boyfriend for like a year
 carlos + thomas
 therefore
 i am going to drop commitments
 with guys
and just have fun
this life is too short
 to be crying over a break up
 and to limit my company
therefore
im single
 and I really am loving it
 no more worries
 so basically what Im saying
 is that for the past month or so
life hasnt been fun
but
 thats all going to change
 right now!
Me x: ily
DoDrinkPoisonx3: ILLLY.
Me x: nuh uh!!
Me x: ILOVE YOU MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me x: im in like
Me x: this amazing mood